Wooo. Revamped the site. Maybe now i'll start using it again, 'eh? <3 The rot-cee trip to huntsville was this past weekend, and to sum it up it was actually alright .. despite the fact that 20 hours of it was spent on a bus, and I was roomed with a group i could care less for. But that's aside the fun stuff. THERE WERE DIPPIN' DOTS! :D I hadn't had that stuff in forever. When I saw it at the space center, i flipped. The mall there is pretty kickass, too. Twice the size of this one. If i'd had more money, i'd need more suitcases. Could barely fit the stuff in that I had bought. o.O; I found this nifty waterglobe at some older store though, that had a candle, a rose, the opera ghost's mask and the music script for "Music of the Night" inside of it. It plays the song, too. x3 Even bought some new shirts & posters at HT.
( x x x ) There's an edward scissorhands one too, but it's not on zee site. -sad sad-

When we got back, I couldn't help but wonder where the weekend went. Everything went by too damn fast. I ended up skipping half of yesterday to catch some sleep and wash some clothes. Other than that, everything just came back down to regular pace. Nothing eventful happened. I could guess what i'd be doing in the next ten minutes, rather than expecting a surprise. Today I just caught up in a few classes. My Creative Writing class liked a poem I wrote. My Geometry teacher was stunned that i'd actually done work for her class. Lunch. Worked concessions. New projects in Biology. Boredom.

I might go see Thomas & Karyn tonight. I think they're performing in "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown." I can't remember if that's what it's called. If not, maybe tomorrow. Then military ball is friday. If Poe's still taking me, then woooo. If not i'll just go with Ryan. It's probably not going to be all that great, but whatever. My ticket was free. <33 I'm just concerned about the district rally. I'm supposed to represent English II in both Literature and Grammar, and yet I haven't actually done any real grammar assignments since .. well, 8th grade. Blah, blah, blah. Butterfinger crisp bars are my new favorite candy bars.

03:32 p.m. ::

Cripes.. I keep telling myself to spend ten to twelve bucks on a leatherette journal, but I can't even keep up with my free, add-an-entry-easily online one. -o-; hrmph.

It doesn't surprise me though. I keep purposely overloading myself with so many things that i just 'have' to do, that i forget to take a break and end up procrastinating them off either way. Cheif example: English essay. There goes that grade. ._.; I've ended up to the point where i've let others' comments affect my writing. Ever since mid-this term, what i write gets shittier, and my vocab decreases. I can't figure out if this is laziness, conceitedness, or it's just to lower myself to something they want, rather than what i feel or shape. Nine times out of ten, "you're the problem."

I'm also noticing how well i'm stuck into this 'in-between' stage of my life. It's as if identy crisis took a break, and left me off somewhere to relax, like a frustrated phackin' mother. Yeah. That's it. The day care of my late adolescence. Fuck, i want something to drink. This week will give me some much-needed rest though. Or at least partially, it will. But i swear, i need to write something again. Something good. Something i actually like for a change, and not a random free-write exercise, or an essay on humanism. Something i want to actually imbibe into my heart and toss back out in a pattern of words. One day, i swear to myself, i'll actually do something that i'm proud of.

One day.

07:34 p.m. ::

Play auditions post-up sheets will now be up on Tuesday instead. damn that woman. Mock election try-outs are right after that, too. e.e;

Went to the movies finallllly. @_@ Nicole, Poe, & I all went to see that Jet Li movie, Hero. I swear .. Whenever it's all three of us, movies just kick ass. It was pretty good, too .. it's actually the first subtitled movie i've ever seen, aside from watching an anime here/there. o.o; Was a little confusing at the beginning, since we didn't know it'd end up being repetitive different stories (and stories-in-stories) but some of the sword scenes were excellent, and the use of color difference was kick ass. Aside from that ..

OMFGX0R WE GOTSES NEW ARCADE GAMES IN THE MOVIE ARCADE INCLUDING DDR OMGOMG!@#!1!12! >:D Yep. After ritualously playing a Tekken rip-off, Poe & I tested out the new DDR double-board thingy. I'll flat out say i sucked without any regrets. But Poe kicked ass, and beat it through. I ended up tagging in some weird hick guy who was all excited to see a 'teen dance-off!" His wife looked at me like she was almost ashamed of the situation. o_o;

After we left, we 'glided' a good bit to Circuit City. At first, we were just retards and gliding around the entire store. x3 We browsed a few cds, dvds, games, etc., then i semi-guided poe to finding the right computer. hooha. There was some guy named Jagger there, who'd graduated two years earlier. We just kind of talked to him for a bit, downput a few teachers/assist. princi's & such. It was amazingly awesome.

We left CC and made a split decision between putting what money we had left towards a meal at IHOP or a dessert at Copeland's. IHOP won. Yay for bacon. After a plate of food, some nasty water, and a flat coke, we went out on the restaurant patio and just talked for a bit. A little later, we went home. Nicole has a sweet new beagle puppy named Pete though. Her mum wouldn't let her call him God.

05:02 p.m. ::

A whirlwind of emotion.. alright. Maybe not.

Starting with yesterday afternoon. Poe & I were staying after school for those tryouts, so in 4th block i took an edge and convinced Nicole to stay with us. 'Course, i didn't tell her why. So come the time that Poe and i are changing out of the uniform hell that our school adopted so graciously, Nicole starts to wonder why we didn't tell her about this yesterday. tee-hee ..

We showed up in Drama room, right behind Kirstie & Delia. At the moment, some chick was at the front of the class reciting 'Mary had a little lamb.' When we finally sat down, Nicole gave me a funny look and asked what we were doing. mwah. "Welcome to drama club, Nicole." <3 She wanteds to kill me. Hell, if i were her i'd kill me too. But she's all happy about it now, so yey. :3 We all walked up there and said 'MHALL'. One chick even tried to rap it. I have a funny feeling that she's getting a lead part in this play. And Nicole might too; I covered for her when Mrs. Edwards asked why she was here, so she didn't have to audition. But as soon as we started to leave later on, Mrs. E. called her back in. Apparently she was good friends with her brother. ;D

We dropped by Nicole's house afterwards, hung out, and dug Zelda OoT from the POOR, DUSTY N64's games. Poe and I left at six, and he stayed at my house. We invented a game with a pound of blue play-doh, marbles, pennies, and old snoopy easter candy. My room is a haven for shit. He didn't quite beat the game though, after so many tries. x3 /end yesterday

Today. Signed up for drama club at lunch, guest speaker tomorrow in Psych, sat through another of Cheif's boring lectures, play try-outs to be posted tomorrow. However .. I feel the need to quote someone.

"See, you just don't know people as well as you think... you can never really assume anything as much as you would like to or probably do for the hell of it. But assuming things is how people get through the day. If we didn't just assume we'd wake up every morning .. if we didn't just assume the WORLD was still going to be here when we wake up every morning .. then what's the fucking point?"

here, here. And she's right. you don't know people as well as you think .. and sometimes, it shows. sometimes it hurts. I'd just like to assume that some people actually know what i think, too. but i guess that's where my journal comes in. if everyone i knew had an online journal, and actually spilt their guts out into it .. i wouldn't need to assume. but the world doesn't tell you it'll be here in the morning. you assume. and i've repeated that word too many damn times now.

.. and so summarizes (in a way, because you know i could've just kept rambling.) two days' thoughts. Or moreover, what you assume is most of my two day's thoughts, based on what im telling you.

09:49 p.m. ::

'Sick day' numero uno of the school year, and it's only three weeks in. Spiff job, Devy. Spiff job. ._.;

It was too much stacked in one. I had three tests, back to back, and the third one was on that damned book (Which .. i didn't finish reading. Moreover, i was only 30 pages into it when i ran to get to class today.) I show up in Geo, easy test, aced it i'm sure. After the test, instead of looking over Latin America, i tried to cram a a few few chapters. Didn't work. (Go figure.) So i scribbled a quick note to Poe that i'd be skipping lunch, and one to Nicole to copy some notes for me in rot-cee. By Psychology, another test, crammed the vocab in, aced it, felt all happy/go-go. Miraculously, after i'd copied the assigns & turned in the test results, I became rather 'ill'.

The funny thing about it was that I actually was sick, in a way. Not sick enough to skip with reason, but sick enough to fake with reason. Lucky day, Cari was working in the office. Gram drove by and picked me up, and as soon as i got home Mum knew exactly why. Somehow, after that factor came up, i finished reading the book in an hour and a half. The questions on the book were too damn long, though. With slackmanship involved, they've carried on from 11:50am to now. I'm still missing about eight answers. ¬_¬

Here's the odd little mixture that got thrown in with it. Kirstie somehow convinced me into coming with her to audition for a play tomorrow afternoon. After that, i somehow convinced Poe. Then, add the Mock Election auditions on to that next Wednesday. e.e; At least i'm getting off my ass and doing something though.

Ohoho. I'm going to cut my hair a little shorter. It's a bugger when it's this long in this weather.

09:37 p.m. ::

I have a feeling that this is going to be one of those 'i wish i was still curled up at home in my warm, cozy bed' days.

-glares at 1984- then again, what did i expect? -_-;;

06:36 a.m. ::

So tirish & boring today. I only did about three or so things, if even. e.e; {slacker}. Helped Poe set up his blog, talked to Rich. I REALLY wanted to work on that story .. blah. Hopefully tomorrow in Lit. For some reason, that class helps a lot. Maybe because it's dead-silent?

The MTV movie awards were tonight, too. Jet was pretty good on their stage performance .. but hoobastank sucked ass. The lead looked/sang like he was drunk. That's not a bad thing, but right before you perform? Come on. x3 Even Yellowcard did better than them .. which i'd rather not admit. ._.; Ocean Avenue can die. Aside from that, the only spiff things about it was the new Best Vid Game ST category, and Kerry's daughters pretty much getting boo'ed offstage. Made my night.

Whenever Dad gets back from Guam, i'm thinking about convincing him to come with me to a concert in Dallas. mwaha. The Nintendo Fusion tour .. tell me this line-up isn't great. Lostprophets, Story of the Year, My Chemical Romance .. harthart. <3<3 I don't know who i'll drag with me though. Probably Nicole .. but i dunno if Poe would want to go. Or if he could come, even if he wanted to .. ._.;

classessss .. -snooze-

10:46 p.m. ::

Bet you can't guess who became a fanlisting whore overnight. -shifty eyes-

Hynn .. either way, I was so beat yesterday afternoon. Classes were pretty much better than i expected them to be. mwah. Psych and Geo passed by so quickly, but hey, they're always pretty fast. What made me happy was Eng/Lit. As soon as we walked in, she had a ten minute freewrite topic on the board. e.e; Panicky. I hadn't been able to actually sit down and write anything besides my name, journal entries, and research papers on the board since .. i dunno .. sometime in June? >>; But for some reason, as soon as the damn bell clicked to start the freewrite, i couldn't stop. There was a subway station. Middle-aged man, girl sitting next to him. He was describing her in comparison to the other occupants; by the time the bell clicked to stop, i had filled almost three pages front and back & come up with an awesome plot & twist in the story. The only thing keeping me from flying out of the class when the bell rang again was the fact that I still have to cram 1984 in by Tuesday & fill out a guide sheet on it. Insert droopy face here. ;-;

Rot-cee had a fill-in instructor today, so Nicole and i were sitting & playing Cali speed out on the breezeway next to the doors while everyone else went out and played volleyball. It was ninety sommad degrees outside and the humidity was fucking deathly. ._.; Then thirty minutes 'fore day end was a pep rally. Oh joy. When we got in the boy's gym, the place started to get packed with a herds of sweaty people all crowding up next to each other in the bleachers. It wreaked. I think the heat got to my brain, though. Poe & I were semi-dancing on the top row of the bleachers, and i probably would've crowd surfed my way across the gym if i didn't know they would drop me.

I grabbed a shower as soon as i got home and talked to Poe & Richie for a bit. I passed out early, and slept 'till about 9am.

<3 sleep.

12:55 p.m. ::

huzzahhh. Rot-cee is taking half of its happy little self over to San Antonio for some amusement, so upperclass courses will be a little empty. Finally. My rot-cee class of ten will be reduced to shit, and then maybe i'll put full effort of digesting 1984 into my braiiin. -o- That book is so slow at first. Pretty good .. but slow.

My cow-bank is all empty again. ;-; I ended up using the last of my cash down to the last nickel this week. Drinks, lunch, teacher. -blink- Bah .. and i don't start working again until next March. Hopefully i can find some mini-jobs for in between, because i'll need some moneh by december. ._.;

The mock election try-outs are coming up, too. Supposedly it's some pretty big thing at this school. It's supposed to be a mini-play of the people and places influencing this year's jolly showdown. Aka, we'll have "Bush" walking around school with "Secret Service agents" for a week. But hey .. i actually wouldn't mind being bush's wife if i could. Then i'd have four lowerclassmen following me around like frat/sor pledges. x3 I'll probably just pull speaker for my state though. Then again .. there's always Oprah. :p

05:55 a.m. ::

I swear. There will always be three things that I will hate about myself above all else: my hot-headed jealousy, the fact that I bloody procrastinate too much, and how I always assume everything. Sure, i'll admit that all three of them have done me well, too. But they piss me off to no end.

I can't believe i'd be sitting here and assuming stuff out of nowhere just because my best friend asks a simple question. It's like i thought of every wrong thing that could be associated with it and clumped it into some huge ass drama story that was burning to happen. Over a question. A simple. Fucking. Question. I've never been that way towards this friend, because i trust him. I do. And sometimes i can't help but think i trust some of them too much over what happened last time. Ah .. but that's where it all starts to make sense. What happened last time. I finally got over the worst of it, but anytime a certain someone gets brought into the picture .. it's like i snap. "It can't be had. They can't do it. I won't let them." That's all that goes through my mind whenever they bring him up. I'm not ready to put myself through all of this all over again. I'm just not. And they're not going to ruin my happy-spree, so screw it.

On a lighter note, i was so high on myself today for acing another Psych test. I swear .. if I had fifty bucks in my pocket and the answers to the pop quiz in Lit, then i would've been walking on clouds. I'm not so sure why I was happy about it. Then again, Psych has been the first class besides comp classes, Rot-cee, & English that i've started acing straight off since .. well .. elementary school. Rock on.

Gah. I mineswell stop by the mall or something this weekend. And i'll probably drag you to the movies with me if I do go anyways Poe, so hardyharhar. :p

07:43 p.m. ::

Seven more days 'till September. Blah. Seven more days of freedom, more likely. ._.; Richie's plane ticket's going to be a good bit of work from then on out. But hey, Gram's got a job offer and i need a job. Maybe i'll get some good pocket money out of this too. x3 It's just going to be so damn awesome when he comes, so i don't have a reason to bitch about it.

Damnit. I want to go out and do something this weekend. I love the fact that classes kill time, but i don't do the whole same-shit-everyday thing. That's just too OMFGWDFBBQ?! Maybe i'll drag someone to a movie. Or they'll drag me. Or some shit like that. ¬_¬;

Woot. Silver & Cold is on. <3 Not their best, but i love it. One of these days, when they're touring again i'll catch a show and mosh my heart out. One of these days. These/those. Cheese.

04:05 p.m. ::

Ugh. Today sucked ass. When I woke up this morning, i had a disturbing dream of .. someone i knew .. strangling me. It was really weird, and made me angsty to all hell. But then at the same time, i kept thinking about it all day, and eventually ended up talking to them after a long 'vow of silence.' It was awkward as hell .. I mean, just casually talking to someone you felt strangle you in a dream. o_o; I told him about it too. Pretty sure it gave him an ego-boost.

I aced my psych pop quiz though, so i'm all semi-happy. In rot-cee we started the wonderful Science of Flight notes, so my wrist is going to be bloody sore by friday. e.e; I'm just glad we're actually doing something in there for once. But since Nicole & Weaver are in there with me, it's really not so long-seeming. Sucks that Cari isn't in there, or Poe. Blargh.

Nyah .. Poe came over at nine or so, and we just hung out for a bit and talked about him coming over for Halloween. I guess there's going to be a party at his house or something, but hey, what's Halloween without a few pranks? x3 Just .. this year I won't take Angel's kids over to Nicole's and trick her into coming Treating with them. :D Mwaha.

10:02 p.m. ::

Mwahah. This is so bloody awesome. A new journal, a clean slate, and more reasons to rant, bitch, or all out sob like an emo chick without having to deal with people who stalk me complaining. <3 I love it.

Since classes have finally started back up, i'm not as bored anymore. My psych class kicks all ass, too. For once, I'm not sitting in all my course-classes waiting for the bells, so huzzah. x3 Blargh .. but Psych and Geo are going to kill my wrists. (and I have the same instructor for both of them, back to back. ._.;) I'm only a week into it and i can fill a fourth of my binder on Skinner and Watson's ideas alone.

I finally convinced my 'rents to let Richie come stay here for a week in December, too! Bah .. four months away, though. But four is better then never .. so. :\ I just can't wait to finally see him. I mean, it's been hell at times. Especially with people i knew, and how they reacted. And the distance .. is hard. It seems like just seeing him will make everything worthwhile.

I wish you were around more, Raven. e.e; -hug-

01:19 p.m. ::